Tonight....

Tonight has been a night....

I have tried to clear my mind of all thoughts and feelings....and I decided to turn to this...I needed to turn to this to make sense of this hurt that is pouring through me....

I have days where I am ok...where it's all ok...where there is only a ping of pain...then I have days where I'm not ok....where the pain is so tremendous I feel like I am going to collapse.....the tears won't stop....and my heart wants to burst....

It takes one thing....

One memory....

One thought....

And I'm paralyzed with thoughts of you.....

I'm hurting from and for you....

I've never been hurt this bad ever....I've never been in this place....

Morning is going to come....I will have the puffy eyes, red nose and headache and heartache that I carry everyday.....

I will still hurt, but smile....
I will still cry, but hide it....
I will still care, but ignore it....

Tonight....tonight I hurt, tonight I cry and tonight I care....
Tonight....tonight I wish so many things....

it's been a night.....