And the clock begins to tick....

Well it's time to see what this girl is made out of....

It's time to see what I can do...

It's 12:22 a.m. right now....

I made a deadline of 12:45 a.m....

That's some odd 21 minutes.....

As always, I know what I need to do...

I know what I need period....

What I have right now isn't it....

It's just not....

It's this vicious circle of bullshit that I just can't break or don't want to break...

I'm tired, I'm broken....

Same shit right??

And no one to blame but me....

This is all me....

I let this happen to me...

I let this keep happening...

I never used to be this way...

Something happened or switched that makes no sense....

I don't want to keep being in this world of unhappiness...

I'm tired of being tired, sad, hurt, mad, disappointed, and always always in doubt....never knowing an ounce of truth...never being anything....

I can't be like this anymore...



So I wait...I'm down to 15 minutes....

I can almost predict this ending...exactly 2 years ago, this whole wrong feeling started for the first time...2 years ago....that's a lot of bullshit...a lot of tears.....and too much time wasted on loving the wrong person.....

Loving someone who can't even put me first....
Loving someone who can't realize what they have....
Loving someone who rages in anger......


I'm sitting here waiting....
With tears flowing down my cheeks....

For what?

For nothing.....

For disappointment....
For sadness.....
For more hurt....

I need to be done....
I need to be strong....

I need to find that someone special who will love me....and want to be loved by me....

Who will care about me....

The clock will tick, the seconds will fall....but the hope of him proving me wrong will stay with me till the last granular falls from the hour glass....

Then I can sit here...
Watch the door....

And the clock will continue to tick...

But then for a whole other reason....