April, april, april....

To sum up the month of April....rain, rain go away, come again maybe in a couple months?!? It has been a dreary, dreary month...of nothing much but cold weather, mud, rain, ANNNNND snow...yes you read correctly snow....that lovely white stuff that falls in cold temperatures...thank you thank you mother nature...

But today the sun is shining and no rain...and you can tell that peeps needed it...peeps are starting to smile again, and there is this strange sound that is coming out of some folks...think it's been rumored to be a thing called laughter....

Since there has been so much rain, and the backyard is resembling more of a mosh pit than yard of newly sprouts of grass I am twitching and impatiently waiting to get out and till...yes till...a spot for a GARDEN...to say I'm excited is an understatement, I could pee my pants I'm that excited to plant this damn thing....now we should be very clear on the fact, that yes I did grow up on a farm...no I have no green thumb....vegetables have mercy because there is going to be a large abundance of miracle grow, fertilizer (if there's a difference from the miracle grow??) and prays said to get this baby going....

Trust me, I will be the proud parent and post some pictures of my inspiring garden...I'm pretty sure you all can not wait for this and will anxiously be awaiting.....

So we will wait for the yard to dry and look forward to May, may, may.....

364

Yes folks you read it right.....364

That's 364 days that have gone by....tomorrow will mark 365.....and Saturday will mark 366....

You may ask why count or why think about this....why look at it like that, when I preach and preach about moving forward...think forward...don't look back....

In a way I contradict myself....ok, I a lot contradict myself...hellllooooo, do you not read my prior posts?!?

I have moved on....I do look forward, but I'm always reminded of my past year....I'm such a different person....at times I like the person and at other times I wonder where the hell or who the hell I really am....

Am I just now this cookie cutter of a person trying to be this perfect human being....trying to make sure others are happy and am I really happy? or am I just convincing myself daily that this is what I begged for...this is what I wanted....

but am I happy....

I am happy in different ways....

I am satisfied in different ways.....

I am stronger in many ways....

I know this post is a lot of rambles and not much is going to make sense.....but I have a lot jumbled up in this noggin of mine.....

I want the next 364 days to be different....

I know life brings stress, but I want to be as carefree, drama free as possible....I want to plan weekend getaways, and getaway....I want to enjoy my kids and really enjoy them....I want to hear them tell me stories and actually hear the story....

After today's post the mood of this blog is changing...the "type" if there ever has been a type will be different....

I'm moving on from the past and going to be only talking about the good and the now....

Soooo, I know my 1 or 2 readers...this is what you have to look forward too....more blogging and talks of puppy tails, rainbows and fluffy clouds....

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Gives so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!