tgif......

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out

love, and to let it come in.

- Morrie Schwartz

Changing of seasons....

I love fall....i love the coolness in the mornings, sleeping with the windows open, the smell of the air and the sport of my heart......football.....

I love fall....i love knowing that my summer of mowing the lawn is done, my electric bill from running the air is over and the instant sweat starting from the minute i open the door till i get back into the air conditioning has come to an end.....

I love fall.....i love the colors of the leaves, the natural beauty of the scenery....no need for any boughten product to make any changes....its priceless what mother nature can do.....

I love fall....the apple orchard trips, the pumpkin patches, the anticipation of the upcoming holidays, and the preparation for winter......

it's amazing though to me...as fast as fall came, how fast it will go....in a blink I'll be cussing about the snow, the ice and the dreaded 20 minutes it takes me to just leave the house....

Take a breath, take a moment....we all forget to, we all need to be reminded....life is a gift - smile, shut-up and love like there is no tomorrow....

Where did it go....

So i had to do the unthinkable this morning....i shouldn't say the unthinkable....but I had to do something that I wasn't looking forward to....

I had to let go of my baby....my youngest child has started school....

It was tough....

There were tears (mainly me)....

And there was and is a sense of mystery....

Where did the time go, where did all of our years of the infant and toddler stages go....where did my baby go??

I can't forget to add that I also had to send my oldest to High School....not a misprint...High School.....it hurt....my babies are growing up...my time switch of stopping or pausing the moments is not working....they are ready, and they want to tackle the world....but as a parent I'm not ready for the world to have them....I want to keep them wrapped up and needing their mom.....I know, I know they'll still need me, but in different ways....but I'll take it....and I'll watch them grow, and marvel the world with their beauty....

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
-
Mother Teresa

here you are....

I was waiting for you....

I was hoping that you wouldn't come back for me....

I was quite happy without you....

I was not sad....

I was not crying....

I was in a good spot....

I was smiling more....

I was laughing a lot.....

I had faith again in good....

I had hope that it was alright.....

I wasn't confused.....

I wasn't lonely....

I was content....

I was.....

And here you are again....

What are you doing here....

Why did you come back for me....

Why can't you leave me alone....

Why can't I be stronger....

Why can't I stop this vicious cycle.....

Why can't this stop....

I was waiting for you....

And here you are.....

True thoughts for a Friday.....

I'd have to agree with the phrase "the hardest part is letting go"...I've been there, and the hardest part of anything in life is letting go...you want to hold on to everything....

when you're a parent you want to hold onto your children, you don't want to see them fail, you don't want to see them hurt, you want to guard them and protect them from everything...then you realize that you have to let them go....

when you have a partner whether you are married or have been in a relationship and you come to the crossroads of having to decide what is best for you, when the passion is gone, the fights are constant and the hurt is a burn....you have to decide if the love that you have is pure and for the right intentions anymore....if what you are feeling makes sense, if you are holding on for the right reasons or if you are just scared of the loneliness or the what ifs....when you come to that moment, and not matter how much it hurts......you realize that you have to let them go....

I think the best way to say it is...

in the end these things matter most

How well did you love?

How fully did you live?

How deeply did you let go?

Fixing the broken....

Relationships are like glass...sometimes its better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together......

Now this is completely my opinion...my thoughts, my feelings...kinda like this whole blog is....but I believe everyone is broken...everyone wants to be fixed in one way or another.....let me explain...





I am broken....not like heart broken, or emotionally broken (like I once was) but I am broken...I have had different situations, different times of my life that have happened that I wish I could change, that have changed me...for the good, bad, you name it....and I can't make it go away...I can fix it, revamp my attitude - but it will always be this broken part of me.....kinda like how they say, you can fix a broken mirror but you can always see the crack....you can fall and get hurt but you will always see the scar...and that's okay...it's okay to have your faults be known....it's okay to be broken....because in the end I believe, again just me throwing it out there...everyone is broken, and we can all fix the broken as long as we're not trying to cover up our past, because we have to remember the thing that is really hard and really amazing is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.....

Focus, focus focus....

Looking back you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life - and it was you. It is not too late to find that person again. Robert Brault

I believe it's easy to lose yourself...to get caught up in moments where you don't know who you are or which way you should be going....yes I'm sure there are the peeps out there that have everything together and their lives are just grand, but I would like to think that it's just a facade...made up...nobody's perfect or has this "perfect" life....it can be good, hell it could be great...just not perfect....

Everyone needs time to themselves, and to focus on their needs....make yourself the best person you can be....life is short, life is too damn short....live it and be it....

I agree...

Off the beaten path...

I found this and I can't stop laughing.....Happy Thursday....

Contagious and content....

no, i have nothing contagious....just lately I have this smile that doesn't

go away...it's this great feat that I have accomplished that I never

thought would get here....shouldn't say never, but you know what I

mean....

I've realized that we accept the love we think we deserve....we

accept and put up with anything and everything when we're in love and

fighting for what we want...what we think we cant live without...I've come

full circle....I like knowing that I'm not going to be a doormat to anyone

ever again in my life...I like knowing that I am important and I will

be loved for who I am, not what I want to be projected as a "perfect"

person....I am me and I will continue to be me because the best thing you

can do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good

mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you...the right

person's still gonna think the sun shines out of your ass.....