Ghosts....

Ok so I know that I haven't been the peppiest person....and seriously for those haters, i have had a legit reason these past months.....before that I just shouldn't have been so overwhelmed with situations that I look back on now and know that they consumed too much of my time....

Nothing should make you feel doubt......

Nothing should make you feel inferior.....

Nothing should make you feel sad....

Nothing should make you feel unloved....

Now is the time to move on.....

Now is the time to get over the past.....

I found this saying and I love it...

All is well. You did not come here to fix a broken world. The world is not broken. You came here to live a wonderful life. And if you can learn to relax a little and let it all in, you will begin to see the universe present you with all that you have asked for. Esther Abraham-Hicks

Time to not over think, time to listen, time to let go.....I've said this before i know on here...peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work...it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart....that's where I gotta be....going to be....goodbye ghosts...

Past Tense

Mirror mirror on the wall

Tell me something that I don't know

I have so many questions....I have so many thoughts....my days now run over and all seem the same...Funny how I questioned my saneness before, now I doubt I have a sane thought or bone in my body....

I hear his voice....when I think of something I can hear it clearly....I cry because I can hear it and I cry because I don't want to ever not remember it....how his voice sounded....how his actions were...

Were...odd...were, was....all of them....it's hard to put everything into past tense...my whole lingo for my dad has changed....I have to past tense it all....

I don't understand the whole grieving process....I don't understand how I should be feeling.....

I know that I have changed my thoughts about a lot of people....my actions have changed, and sometimes I will admit it's not for the better.....

I have grown a pair....odd that it took this....but I realized that I have to be me.....I can't live my life as someone else or as what someone else wants me to be.....I'm still working on this...but I feel stronger than ever about this...it's crazy scary to change after you have tried so hard to "mold" your life for so long.....

I've learned that some people are selfish and will always remain selfish....this is for another blog post....it's in continuance of me growing a pair...but the ripples are starting and I have a great feeling the wave will be along oh too soon....

some things will not change and some things will never go past tense....I love him, and will always love him....miss you dad