I know that this blog was created for absolutely no purpose other than for me to vent...ramble...get things off of my chest....but reading back...I see how I'm just going in circles...I'm not progressing...some days I may feel like I am...I may write that I am....but I'm not.....
I wish I didn't feel this way.....really I don't....
This morning I was texting someone and they said to me "why do you always have to have drama or be fighting?" and it hit me hard....especially after a god awful night....so then I think....really? Am I the drama.....am I the one.....
I don't feel like I'm drama....because frankly I just want to be happy, that's all I want....I would be just fine being left alone by the rest of the world, just so I could be happy.
Right now I'm just so sucked into this world of hurt and frustration, that I can't even think straight....my mind is like mush, and my thoughts are all over the place....focus and concentration are work...nothing comes easy to me....
So what to do....I need to re-find me, I need to re-find happiness....I need to move on....something that I keep saying that I'm going to do and I haven't.....I can't let go and I need to...it sucks when your heart won't let go...my heart will not let go.....
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