There comes a time when you stop and stare at the wall that is facing you and you realize or maybe not realize but you question some of your actions or you question some of your decisions that you have made....or will be making...or want to make....
I've talked about wanting a map...needing a map....the chicken shit way as I call it...because Lord knows that the other ways that I have tried have all been fuck-ups.....not everything...my kids are my world....my life...the best of me...the best of everything...but when it comes to love - dear Lord...yes I said it...dear Lord...I can't get it right...I've tried...I've begged...I've pleaded...all I want is that love to be loved....to be accepted as I am...to have that partner, that one that I've dreamed for...made up in my little mind..he's there...he's not perfect, but he's mine...he loves me...he wants to make me happy..he wants to wipe my tears....he wants to hold me, and make it all go away...he wants to be there....he wants to be there....
I don't want perfect...I know better...I wouldn't want to live the fantasy life... I want real....
This comes back to staring at that wall....
Taking that step...
Feeling that knot in your stomach...
And holding your breath as you make that leap...
You make that decision....
You sink or swim.....
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