Where have you been...

It's friday and it's a beautiful morning...

As I mentioned I love fall....love the crisp mornings...the smell of the air....it's perfect....

I've been once again struggling, as you can tell from my last couple posts....I've had a few others, that thank goodness I did not post....peeps would have probably driven to my home to commit me to the loony bin or take away all sharp objects....

I've been given solitude, I've been given space, I've been given time...and during this I thought I wanted something, thought I needed something....maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm delusional....but I had my mind set...I thought everything was already in place and I that I would be making the biggest mistake in my life if I even doubted or placed doubt....my strength that I had accumulated had disintegrated and crumbled over time, leaving me to act like a huge pile of self-doubt....

It took one word

It took one action

It took one moment

To change me...

To open my eyes...

To realize....

I had nothing...

I never had anything...

I had a thought...

I had a hope...

I was looking for something that had never been or was ever there...

It was fictional...

Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them....I forgot this...with all my glorious sayings hanging all around me....I forget to pay attention, I tend to ignore the signs and follow my heart....

As a wise friend told me....remove your heart and dont go on your emotions...you need to look at it without emotion....

They were right....and I'm blessed that I have the friends that I have to pull me up, dust me off and find me...the real me...because no one wants a bed wetter.....and the debbie downer look does not look good on me...